The True Reason Empaths Absorb Pain and How to Stop
Here's what's happening for all empaths in 2025 - many of us are absorbing and sponging even more energy from other people and especially the world.
Yuk, right? But here's an exciting truth: it won't be that way for much longer.
Here's why: One great gift that this new era of spiritual awakening and ascension has offered is we are learning that we NEED each other - and we need to be in community with one another - so that we can mirror each other's Light.
In having our Light reflected back to us, it's so much easier to LOVE ourselves. And THAT is how we stop absorbing and sponging.
Hear me out....
In the past, many of us have carried the world on our shoulders. Often literally. Neck and shoulder problems in the empath community have always been a prevalent issue.
This dynamic of absorbing other people's energy often results from a wounding, usually starting in childhood, in which we felt we had to ACT a certain way in order to receive love.
Conditional Love. It's so very, very human.
And we are now realizing that is a lie.
Below the woundedness that has held us back, and simmering just beneath the cauldron of self-loathing, is a gentleness, a feminine Presence, that does not 'believe' in self love.
It IS self love.
And when we receive ourselves in that way, the way Spirit does, by accessing the tranquil energy at our CORE, then the process of serving as 'sponges' that absorb other people's energy/pain is immediately halted.
The universe is offering us a gateway and portal to 'ascend' our consciousness, right now. When you pass through that portal, you will stop absorbing so much from others.
SELF LOVE IS YOUR ANTIDOTE. +
Absorbing and sponging other people's energy is inversely proportional to the amount of self love we experience, and the amount of conditional love, borne of our wounding, that we can release.
Here's what self love is:
1) Remaining neutral about what anyone else says about you. Whether one loves you or hates you, in any moment, you remain totally convinced of your own worth and provide your own validation so that external validation (or external distraction from pain) is not necessary.
2) You realize that every choice you make is an opportunity to amplify the good things in life. You look for the Light.
And here's what self love is NOT:
1) Putting others first before ourselves (co-dependent conditioning) in which helping others becomes our primary source of self worth.
2) Saying yes when we want to say no, because that will prevent feelings of guilt.
3) Burning out, literally, our nervous systems because we push too hard or attempt to do too much.
What 2025 has revealed for us, is the TRUTH.
When we absorb too much emotion/pain from 'others', it is largely because there is an unhealed part of us inside that believes we must DO something (e.g. people pleasing). Disengaging from fearful people or interactions- or friends that are no longer aligned - is one of the best ways to protect and amplify your own sacred energy.
Recently, a good friend of mine and another friend of mine had an interaction that left both of them devastated and pointing fingers at each other. They both sent me long-winded emails and text messages that projected their own anger at each other toward me, attempting to use my compassionate nature as a way to process their own shit.
In the past, I might have tried to intervene to get both of these parties to forgive one another. Now? Absolutely not. I wished each of them well and have moved on from both of them. And the result? I can't remember the last time I was ever bothered by absorbing someone else's energy or emotion.
Practicing good boundaries is radical self love.
So, my empath friends - ask yourself today: "Where might I protect my energy, so that I don't absorb, by declaring my own self love by setting new and firm boundaries with others, and the world?"
This question will create miracles for you. Let us know in the comments how it works. Michael Smith, Ph.D - founder of Empath Connection
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Michael R. Smith, Ph.D.
For 20 years, Dr. Michael R. Smith's pioneering work to connect empaths & sensitives with their Divine potential has helped millions. As a doctoral trained counselor, spiritual medium, & healing practitioner of indigenous arts, Michael's joy is to serve as a spiritual guide for those at all levels of awakening, including the LGBTQ+ community and gay men. He has published two books, and is founder of Empath Connection, a 200,000 member community. In addition to his annual spiritual retreats, he offers intuition development classes, Lightworker business mentoring, & The Empath Sanctuary community.He lives in the redwood forests near San Francisco, where he enjoys talking to trees.
